National Carers Chillout Haven

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Welcome To All Carers

 

My name is Wendy, I am a pensioner in the UK,  disabled and a carer.  Some years back I  set up a website for carers for us to chat, share stories and give each other support.

The site gives carers the chance to make friends and stay in touch.
I have been a carer for a number of years, and the members say they don't know where they would be without the website. It is a real lifeline for a lot of people because it can be very
lonely being a carer.

Some carers use the site for advice or leave a message at times of stress.

It is also possible to play games and at Christmas we have an online pantomime”.

We regularly have hosted chats which are of interest to fellow carers.

We have been mentioned on BBC2 Working Lunch, local radio and across the UK.

“It is a window to the outside world” in many ways and it offers a lot
of support. We all find it is really helpful to be able to talk to other people going through the same thing who will understand”.

Once registered, carers can take part in hot topics of conversation and find out news or learn of other websites which may be of interest to them.
To find out more log on to
www.chill4us.com

 

Do you Care?

Very few carers get any of the help mentioned in legislation. Contrary to what professionals think, we did not choose to become carers- our hearts and consciences would not allow us to do otherwise. June

Do you Care?

Carers Groups are great for those who can get there but many of us who can't ,  depend on www.Chill4us.com  for support.

Do you Care?

Our site is about information, humour,fantasy and fun, but most of all support and concern for one another, especially for our new members.

We hope you will join us but in order to access the full site you must first register and then reply to our welcoming email and let us know the relationship of the person who you care for.  Once you have registered and logged in then you can access our helpful information and support. 

You will learn about our hosted chats and  any topical information which we feel is related to caring, health or benefits, etc.

Most of all once you log in then you will make friends with our members, who are all carers from across the UK and who always try to understand.  We also have professional members who work in a caring role and they have asked to stay with us.

A carer's story

My husband and I married late in life both having had previous
marriages. He had one son from his first marriage but I never had children.
We had been married for a little over ten years when he was diagnosed with Alzheimer’s Disease. We were devastated! All our dreams and hopes were gone! We cried together and I know I cried in private too.
We were asked if he would go on a Drugs trial which we did, travelling each week to a hospital some thirty miles away. After the third lot of drugs my husband said" no more trials". It was a very tiring process and we felt we had done all we could.
At first things progressed very slowly but I could see little pieces of him disappearing each week.
It became more and more difficult for me to leave him at home, unattended and then the incontinence began
At first it was only one or two accidents, and then we began to have wet beds every night. At this stage we were speaking to an incontinence nurse and after a lot of begging and pleading we were supplied with incontinence pads. We tried a Convene which is a sort of Condom type thing which feeds into a bag strapped to the leg. The trouble with this was that there was always a little reservoir of urine and it needed replacing every day, which proved far too uncomfortable, hence the pads
After a few years, we managed to get a Placement at a Day Centre. At first he was reluctant to go, but in the end he really began to enjoy himself This was on a twice weekly basis so I had a few hours each week to myself, which was becoming more and more necessary.
Then the falls began and he became more and more unsteady on his feet and eventually was wheelchair bound. By this time he could no longer wash and dress himself, and couldn’t even sit up in bed unaided nor could he feed himself. His power of speech left him too though a few words remained, He began to call me Momma I don’t know if he really thought I was his Mum or if it was just a word he could say. Some of the other words he retained are unprintable but he always seemed to use them in the right places.!
Towards the end he was going into a respite hospital once every six weeks for a week. The only trouble with this was that he deteriorated very badly during this time away.
I had always told him that I would care for him at home and fortunately I was able to do this. Not unaided of course We. had two carers coming four times a day. If I hadn’t had this help I wouldn’t have been able to manage myself.
We had a psychiatric nurse visiting every two weeks and she was very helpful, telling us what benefits we could claim. We were able to
Claim full attendance allowance and I would tell anyone to persevere with claims. They turned us down the first time I applied but the second time we were granted the full amount.
We were also able to claim a 25% discount on Council Tax. This is available to the best of my knowledge to people with mental illness. We were also given this discount back dated for three years
Through all of his illness my husband never lost his sense of humour and sometimes we would laugh until we cried over something so very simple, like putting his own hat on only it was back to front and he looked like one of the Bowery Boys, I couldn’t resist taking his photograph and it now sits above my computer. It was one of the last pictures I have of him.
The end came quite suddenly. He had been away for a week and he never really recovered He suddenly lost the ability to swallow and although all his food was liquidised he still couldn’t take it.
He died peacefully in my arms and I know he was ready to go. The struggle just became too much for him, I had nursed him for 15 years and I now have a great void in my life, but I know that he would have nursed me with just as much love and attention had the positions been reversed.
Addy